The Real Micheal Myers

I watched Halloween last night for the 60th time.

 

My take away this year is that I need someone to recreate the behind the scenes of Michael Myers.

We need to see the footage of him giggling as he’s putting Bob’s glasses over his sheet-covered face and looking in the mirror to make sure it looks funny/scary enough.

 

And we need to see Michael’s slim-jim work on that locked Monte Carlo. We need to see him working quickly and looking over his shoulder for Annie. If Michael did anything quickly that didn’t involve killing, it’d be funny.

 

Remember how he hangs Bob’s dead-ass body in the closet so it’ll swing down when Laurie is forced to cry near the closet after she finds Lynda’s dead head in that dumb waiter shelf thing? (Michael really got lucky on that one) Yeah, we need to see Michael’s handiwork rigging that up. And you know it wouldn’t go as planned so we need to see him cursing under his breath and throwing the small roll of wire when he gets pissed off. 

 

I’d gladly pay $100 to see Michael cleaning up his sister’s headstone with a wire brush and some soap and water before setting that pristine stone in Lyndsay’s parent’s bed. And another $100 to see Michael struggling to lug it around while mumbling to himself “if any of this spooky shit is really worth fucking my back up again….”

 

And the carved Jack-O-Lantern next to the headstone. Yes, we need to see Michael carving it and placing it....just...so. "There. Perfect." He'd say.

 

You see that pic? Yeah, when his face fades in you hear him making that stifled laugh sound.

 

Finally, I think we’d all like to see Michael getting up off the ground in the yard at the end and fucking ssssssprinting away from the house before Loomis can see him. Full out sprint while dodging shit and slipping once in a while. And then, when he finally stops: bent over, panting and walking off the side ache. I think a quick spot of him stretching his hams for a few days after is in order as well.

If the community gives me $300-$500k I’m sure I can make this a reality and release it successfully. I’ll call it “Michael Myers: Silly Goose.”

 

Day 405. Still can’t find a vaxx to take so I’m living in constant fear of the flu. Jill too. I don’t show her my fear, but I sympathize with hers. We heard they were giving them at Sonic but when we got there, much like at Funiture Bonanza, they were either out or it was a hoax. So we got a recliner and tater tots to not show our hand (fear).

 

Last night I had a dream that I died because I was coughing after laughing about a CCP child-labor meme that highlighted their lack of environmental laws. Lesson learned. 

 

We’re going to register ourselves today on the FBI website, just in case. It’s better to ask for forgiveness than to roam free with this stoopid free thought thingy, even if it was just a dream. <—I’m still guilty. And I'm afraid I'm still scared.

 

If anyone has some extra vaxx juice we can borrow, we’ll be grateful for 45-60 days. Also, just to be clear, we are fine with heart or vascular issues. We just want to be safe. We are frightened. We are very, very frightened and have been for so long that I don’t even remember not living in constant fear of getting a fever.

 

 

 Well, Facebook has censored me to the point that if I post a picture of a kitten playing with a rainbow butterfly on a cute bridge near a waterfall only 2 people out of 700 can see it.  My fake account "David Abbott" can't see it, at all.  It's like I didn't even post it. I guess you can say I am in perpetual FB jail and that is that.  Much like a black hole says, "No matter."

So, I will post here to no one until someone shows up. Or not.  Either way, it's better.  And it probably will take some hot sauce off of my own rating on the Scoville Scale of the wOkE gOvErNmEnT Watchlist if I just don't post on FB.

Hi.