Guess What We Don't Want...

...BUT THEN THEY WENT AND TOTALLY REDEEMED THEMSELVES!


Seriously though...

I am compelled to write about this because last week I witnessed something amazing. My wife and I went to some friends of ours house to help her with their twin 2-year old girls since mommy is recovering from ankle surgery. We were there about 2 hours, and during this time I watched the twins at the “terrible two stage” not be terrible at all. Sure one of them fell into a cabinet and got a bump on her noggin, but that is not what struck us. The girls were unbelievably well behaved, they spoke and understood what we were saying, and they played on their own, peacefully. We stayed for feeding time and what do you think that they ate? Mac and cheese? Ravioli? Nuked chicken parts? No, they had salads with actual vegetables. Then they had organic chicken and some cheese wrapped in a soft tortilla. I am not advocating organic, and there certainly isn't anything wrong with organic, its just that with the added cost I would feel the need to buy rot gut bourbon instead of Maker's. Getting back on subject: The kids had raisins for dessert. Fucking raisins! No twinkies, no cookies, just the raisins. And here is the neat part: They get really excited at the mere prospect of raisins! Our friend explained that they have never eaten surgery treats, but the nice lady at the bank gave them some once. What did the girls do? They looked at the foil wrappers and eventually stomped on them because they didn’t know what they were and weren’t fun to play with. The girls aren’t given sugar for a good reason: at that age sugar is like crack, which probably plays a part in their wonderful behavior. Besides, they can eat all they sugar they want when they are 10. Next, mommy brushed their teeth, complete with the girl’s cooperation with them making different noises and subsequently different ‘mouth manipulation’ that allowed mommy to brush all the different teeth. When that was over, they asked if they could be excused. Of course we were amazed because all my wife and I have ever seen is a madhouse of fits, crying, constant attention and want, want, want with some play mixed in here and there. Mommy then told us that if one of the girls does not get their way – she explains to them that all that crying will do is force mommy and daddy to leave the room; the outcome remains the same, except that they are left alone. Awesome. It almost made us want to have kids, but we aren’t going to, instead we are going to keep on drinking and retire early. Sorry Mom. Anyway, it was a cool and refreshing experience.